i’ve been relatively silent on the renaissance of nappy.
i’m so glad that black women are finding the courage to bear their tresses unabashedly… but part of me is bitter, angry, and isolated. some of these girls and women are the same girls and women who berated and poked fun at me a decade ago when i had a fade. called me a boy, or a dike.
the professor in college who walked up to me in front of my entire business communication class held my Loc in her hand and told me “you can take your braids out for your job interview” or the other professor who told me “your hair looks much better that way” …after seeing my “straight” hair after i let a friend flat iron it just for fun. the mother who made me wash my twists out, and forbade me to Loc my hair in high school.
my nappiness has been a journey of perpetual isolation. and now… a decade later. there’s this culture that i’m supposed to automatically submerge myself into. this world of youtube vids, curl pattern types, co-washes, twist outs, and a plethora of other vocabulary terms that i have yet to find the energy to assign definition to.
i’ll admit. im slightly jaded. feeling like the nappy middle child… stuck between my big sister of the 60s & 70s and the baby of today that everyone loves and is so proud of… i’m the product of three decades of jheri curls, perms & quickweaves… and somewhere in there… i found the power to be nappy in spite of it.
i’m just looking for my place in all of this… me & my blue magic.