if we should love. |an OJ ode|

if we should love.

let it be for the ages
even though time traps us into
a tiny space on the continuum
lets love like forever is our reality

if we should love.

Let us do it with a holding of hands
a smiling of smiles
and a lot of great sex

if we should love.

Let us yell it from the rooftops
letting the world see
what possibility looks like
when she grows her wings

if we should love.

Let us do it
never ceasing
never believing that
any other way is an option

if we should love.

let us hold the stars between our palms
praying we never forget

if we should love.

Let us do it every single moment
for as long as we can
what matters most is us

…and if we should love
Let us love against all evens
and know that revolution
is a matter of the heart

our world changes
with the sync
of our heart beat…
if we.
should love.

eZv
2.26.12 12:52p

This poem was inspired by Emeli Sande’s “Next To Me”

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dear self esteem:

i’m choosing to set u at low today.
i don’t want to fake loving me

loving this skin
this acne

fuck beauty

i’m lonely
and makeup or fashion don’t keep me warm at night

i’m walking with my head down
…and writing in lowercase letters

from here on out i am:
avoiding eye contact
smiling on the inside
…and crying in the bathroom stall

fuck cute.

cute always has a clause.
-cute for a black girl
-cute to be so thick
-cute to be dark skin??
-cute for a chick w/natural hair
-cute for a poet… what does that mean?

i’m done loving me until further notice
cause loving me gets me nowhere but here… alone

watching every man with low self esteem finding every reason to see me
as less than or equal to nothing

i’ve pulled my self up by my bootstraps
so much that they’ve broken beneath me

beauty is evil
…and being clothed in spinster seems to be a joke i can’t shake

if i can’t fuck-cook-suck-swallow-pray-love my way into some random heart…
perhaps it not me

fuck u self esteem…

sincerely,
-eris

3.2010

your doe

you’ve become familiar
with the with the spaces we’ve never occupied
at the same time

i’ve stopped screaming your name
from the depths of my memory
the terrors turned to tears
just linger softly
making your smile, your touch,
our history
an ancient fable that no one will believe

i know our love was pure
…sacred

and there’s corner of heaven
with vinyl for your hands only

i always knew you’d come back to me
i didn’t know it’d be in spirit

i am forever your b-side
a fragmented sample
that air brushed the world
with the message
that love and dreams deferred
don’t make righteous
bed fellows

12.21.11 for j1

imani

today imani. the last day of kwanzaa. its interesting how this principal set on the last day of kwanzaa, but the 1st day of the year. i’m certain its not coincidental. today… on the first day of 2012 I pray we all foster a greater sense of faith… not only in the most high, but in ourselves. belief starts from the inside out. i say often every breath is a miracle. if stay grateful for the smaller things that make great things happen (like breathing) its easy to have faith that the “big” things will turn out amazing. be blessed on this last day of kwanzaa. ❤